Thanks for telling me

  I hate it when people know something about you before YOU know something about you.  Coming out to my parents was, what I thought, going to be the hardest thing in my life that I could possibly do.  At the time I was 18 years old, recently graduated highschool, barely just started college, and had no job. Had my admission gotten me kicked out of my parents house I would've been screwed, which is why I had to let myself mull over it while ingesting a few of my dads beers from his "secret" fridge in the garage.  On my 12th beer I finally decided it was a good time to talk.  Mom had just gotten home from work, as did dad, and I was nice and buzzed.  I discussed with them the need for a beer or two after a long day of studying, homework, and thinking.  That got mom's attention, "Why were you studying? It's summer."    'Yea, I didn't consider that.' I think, "Extra credit stuff for nursing, that's not the point. I wanted to talk to you and dad about something that's been weighing on my mind for a while."  They assented to hear what I had to say with a slight nod and I just let it out, "I'm gay. It's driving me crazy, you're the first people I want to know and then I'll tell my friends, but I have been struggling with it for a while now, and it's been driving me crazy, and If you guys dont accept it then I guess I have to leave, or something, or, shit.. I have to piss--"  I rant on.   Dad glance at mom and mom back at dad, and then at me and mom spoke, "Yeah, I knew. I've always kind of known."    Dad speaks up, "Leave? You don't have to leave, we wouldn't do that, you're our son."       Despite the heart warming sentiment my dad offers I speak up towards mom as I'm half way to the bathroom unwittingly unzipping my pants.  "Oh, you knew? You knew, you just knew? This whole time you've had this understanding of mine being a possible homosexual, so, you've just...known?  Do you think maybe you could've told me?  It's been fucking rough. God I have to piss."   I come back from a much needed urination session and mom and dad are still sitting at the table, I'm a little tipsy feeling from the beer I had previously but now relieved, in more than one way, but I'm thankful they are cool with it.  I just wish that since mom KNEW this whole time she could've brought it up and maybe saved me some anxiety and liver space.   

I find it a funny premise, someone coming out for you, a friend, or a parent telling you that you're gay before you even know you are.  For instance, I played football in highschool and imagine what it would be like if one of my football buddies outed me to me. 

                       Friend:  Hey, Joey. Man, I don't want to freak you out or anything but I have something I have to tell you. 

                       Me:  I'm listening.

                       Friend:  Yea, so,  I don't know how to tell you this but, you're gay. 

                       Me:  *shock, surprise, flabber ghasted*  Wha--What?  I'm I'm what?

                       Friend:  Gay.  You're gay.  Too many tell tell signs, bud. 

                       Me:  Like what?

                       Friend:   For Instance, when you're on the sideline at a football game, and we're all yelling to support the guys, your support yells sound alot more like some of the cheers the girls use.  I mean, dude, 'Let's go guys, Be agressive, Be Be agressive' ?? What the hell?  

                       Me:  Eh. I guess sneaking that extra 'be' in there could make it sound a little gay, but hey do they or do they not get more agressive? 

                       Friend:   Right.    Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know.  Seems like you have alot to think about it, so, good luck. 

                      Me:  Can I get a hug? 

                      Friend:  Just piling up the tell tell signs, no.  

Eh, something like that.  Needs to be more narrowed down and focused if it were to come off as a premise or stand up joke.   I think the whole 'someone telling you about you before you know you' is a funny thing to the person who thinks they know themselves, but really are a bit dense.   It may not always have to do with being gay but in my case, my mom knew, I had a friend who said they knew, and all this time I had no idea.  So, guys, thanks for telling me.